Mustache Love

As it often does, Jason Giambi's fabulous 70's-era porn mustache has gotten me thinking. As a Red Sox fan, a baseball fan, and a human being, I hate Jason Giambi. As a Red Sox fan, I hate him because he's a Yankee. As a baseball fan, I hate him because he's the kind of big, slow, lumbering, three-run homer-hitting Moneyball-proving juggernaut that wins tons of baseball games but is almost no fun to watch. And as a human being, I hate him because he cheated. Jason Giambi used steroids (no normal human could grow that mustache), and even though some of the players I love probably did too, it's different when someone's either admitted it (as Giambi has) or been caught red-handed. Jason Giambi, I would argue, is more objectively hateable than most major-league baseball players.

A problem occurs when I try to apply the same formula to another objectively hateable player: one Manuel Aristides (!) Ramirez. As a baseball fan, it's hard to like Manny, who doesn't seem to try very hard when it comes to baserunning, fielding, or holding in his urine until the game is over. As a human being, it's hard to root for a guy who shoved his semielderly traveling secretary for no good reason. But what do you do, as a Red Sox fan, when such a loathsome character hits a home run to help your team win?

The answer, I think, is that you're allowed to root for a despicable player as part of a team, as long as you don't root for him as an individual. It's a nuanced distinction that can be especially tough to swallow because it allows you to perform certain actions for some reasons but not for others. For example, as a Red Sox fan, I can root for Manny Ramirez to do well, but only because it will help my team, and not because of a specific desire to see him do well. For most players, you end up rooting for both--I want to see the Red Sox do well, and I also want to see the Jon Lesters or Jacoby Ellsburys of the world do well because I like them/their style of play. For players like Manny, you have to separate the two--you have to turn rooting for Manny into rooting for the Red Sox.

This line of thinking ultimately brings me back to Jason Giambi and his Fabulous 70's-era Porn Mustache™. Because they have every right to want to see their team win, Yankees fans have every right to root for Jason Giambi to succeed. Same with Giants fans and Barry Bonds, Patriots fans and Rodney Harrison, etc. However, many Yankee fans have taken to wearing replica 'staches of their own to Yankee Stadium, and that seemingly insignificant gesture makes a world of difference. It can be difficult, as a fan, to navigate a sports world in which it sometimes seem that few athletes make good role models. But in trying to make sense of it all, there is one rule that seems relatively clear: you can root for the Yankees, but you can't root for the 'stache.